Saturday, December 01, 2007

Alcoholic Takes Over Most Of US Armed Only With Road Flares And Duck Tape

Incident also causes stocks to drop gas prices to skyrocket Wolf Blitzer to have a hernia Fox Network to call for much higher border fence and presidential candidate Mike Huckabee to calls for guns for everyone!

Friday’s morning’s hostage bomb incident at the Rochester New Hampshire campaign headquarters of Hillary Clinton is a good barometer of the palpable state of fear that manipulates everyone in present day America.

Needless to say, at the beginning of the incident it may have appeared that it could be serious enough to classify it at the top end on a homeland security color-coded level of impending doom.

But shortly after the incident began it became obvious to just about everyone that has a brain that what we had here was an ego centric wife beating drunk on a bender who was not getting his way with some road flares taped to his mid section that he was trying to pass off as a makeshift bomb.

As the police swat teams and multiple government agencies drooled all the news networks thought oh boy we got a major crisis here that going to provide us with tons of actionable content for days. Meanwhile the perpetrator’s stepson sat in a coffee shop down the street. He casually told the waitress that his dad was on a drunken bender. He had taped road flares to his body and gone to the campaign headquarters hoping that maybe when all was said and done he still be able to avoid going to those 12 step meetings or looking in the mirror.

God what some people will do to get some Antabuse. New reports indicated the stepson had told the police about it all and even asked them:

"Can’t I just go in and tackle my dad? He’s harmless”
Advise that the cops didn't care to heed or execute themselves. God that wouldn't give them the chance to try all the bells and whistles on the swat team's armor personnel carrier and have a little harmless fun themselves. Nor would it let the taxpayers off the hook for the enormous bill it would eventually end up costing.

The suspect Leeland Eisenberg age 47 going on 70 was strangely dressed for this type of alcoholic behavior. Wearing a white shirt slacks and red tie with red road safety flares and grey duck tape accessories around his midsection. We expected a shirtless suspect or one wearing a wife beater sleeveless tee. Just like the one we see all the time when we watch our favorite TV show Cops. The suspects always lose their shirts on that show? Lots of folks think that losing your shirt is a term for financial ruin but drunks know losing your shirt really is what happens when you meet a cop and the situation ends up going south.

CNN even sent Anderson Cooper to New Hampshire to do remote coverage from down the street based on the possibility that those road flares actually where lit and would look real pretty on the big situation room TV screens at CNN. FOX news had a guy in car racing towards Rochester broadcasting live while a helicopter offered synchronized aerial coverage from above.

"Both these over reactions by major news networks showing the scoop driven sharks in the water mentality of the modern day news coverage."
Not to long ago in America the guy may have been sent home with a warning to lay off the liquor and stop scaring the hell out of everyone. But now days people just don’t get the joke anymore. It's also possible that if this incident happened back in the good old days this drunk wouldn't have been allowed the time to bring the entire country to a standstill at all.

Instead he just would have had the shit beat out of him by the police and been thrown in the drunk tank. There he would be forced to contemplate his unacceptable conduct and realized he had perhaps hit bottom. Possibly a good thing in the long run for him and the system. It sure make a hell of a funny story to tell at one of those meetings where drunks go. The day I brought the country to a standstill is pretty hard to bottom for sure. But I've heard some damn good ones that would even "bottom this" as they say.

This also brought a cry from some for better mental health coverage especially those not well schooled in the inter workings of the steel trap alcoholic disposed mind. Clinton tried to seem calm concerned and politically engaged while saying the incident was a sign of the problem with the mental health treatment system.

Or was it just some drunk who thinks his personal problems take precedence over everyone else's so much so that he's justified in disrupting everyone life. Isn't it that he really needs someone to start holding him responsible for his unacceptable conduct? Often this is the only way that a drunk will begin to deal with THEIR problem effectively instead of projecting the blame on others and on the system. Which when you think of it will never really be able to cope with all the mentally ill in this country at the rate we are pumping them out.

Maybe it's not that complicated but it sure a money maker for the treatment industry folks and those looking for excuses to blame it all on the system. Including one drunk in New Hampshire.

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