Wednesday, November 02, 2005

So Far Main Stream Media Unable to Get to Bottom of Story Behind CIA Leak...Why, for God's Sake, Do They Call Him "Scooter"?

“a vehicle typically ridden as a recreation, consisting of a footboard mounted on two wheels and a long steering handle, propelled by resting one foot on the footboard and pushing the other against the ground.”

I've been watching MSNBC Hardball with Chris Matthews and Countdown with Keith Olbermann and flipping through O’Reilly’s no spin zone frantically, but have yet to have any of these, know it all, talking heads tell me yet why they call indicted White House aide Irve Lewis Libby “scooter”?

Couldn’t someone just ask some White House press spinner what the fuck the nick name is suppose to mean? You’d think that Dick Cheney himself would of come up with a talking point on how nick named people are less likely to be guilty of leaking CIA secrets, and far less likely to grandstand or hijack the US Senate then a democrat.

Indeed there are a couple of rumors in the blogosphere that his dad either thought he moved around the crib like he was on a scooter or reminded him of the New York Yankee hall of fame shortstop Phil “scooter” Rizzuto. But, why can’t the press get to the bottom of this? It’s a question I’ve had since I first hear him called “scooter”.

I think unless you’re professional athletic, a boxer or the Mayor of New York City prior to 1933, or a hip hop artist with a criminal record, you should immediately drop the nickname you’ve picked up when you turn 18. Plus “scooter” is a rather lame nickname anyway. It has that frat boy smell to it or may indicate sexual dysfunction.

How about something more manly like Lewis “Air” Libby or “ the Candy man” Libby as a nickname? Perhaps something more political sounding like “Boss” or “Kingfish” Libby. Or in honor of his buddy Tom “the hammer” Delay maybe he could be “the nails”, “reciprocal saw” or “the drill” Libby.

Alas he’s just “scooter”. Here are my guesses why they call him scooter.
  • He was very adept at “scooting” out of the house before her husband showed up.
  • He worked for the drain cleaning company Roto Rooter while in college and his actual nickname is “Roto Scooter”.
  • He liked to pound down shooters at Yale fraternity parties and sanitized the nickname when he went into politics.
  • He worked as a meter maid while in college.
  • He scoots over so much while sleeping he always end up on the floor.
  • He rode a Vespa in College because his dad wouldn’t let him buy anything above 100 cc’s.
  • He liked to go to “hooters” and when he was introduced to Bush the president thought he said “scooters”. Everyone in the White House was afraid to correct Bush on the mistake after that and started calling him "scooter" to cover up the mistake.

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